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Thief steals Cervelo from storage unit, replaces it with an actual pile of crap

This may be the worst way to discover your bike has been stolen.

From the police report:

PoliceReport-201449162(hat tip Q13)

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10 responses to “Thief steals Cervelo from storage unit, replaces it with an actual pile of crap”

  1. Glen

    What tests did they run to verify that it was human?

    1. Tom Fucoloro

      I’m guessing this is not what the responding officers imagined they would be doing when they entered the academy.

      1. Gary

        Sure this wasn’t just the owners statement “Aw..cr*p!”

    2. Halloween Jack

      Poop has DNA in it. This American Life had a segment a while ago about some subdivision HOA that required homeowners to submit DNA samples from their dogs, so that any non-picked-up scat could be identified and the responsible pet owner fined.

  2. Southeasterner

    Sounds like a pretty good trade for a Cervelo.

  3. Jake

    DNA tests cost less than a new Cervelo. Just saying.

    1. I don’t think human feces is full of human cells.

      Also, with DNA testing you need a suspect to test against. So if the victim has a neighbor that can’t quite keep up with him on the Tour de Interurban Trail…

  4. Phog Allen

    It’s a Cérvelo. I’m surprised he noticed a difference in appearance and ride quality.

    1. Resident pedant

      Um… fail. It’s Cervélo. :=)

      1. Resident pedant

        … but +1 on the comment!

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